Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew…

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1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up put it down.
3. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
   if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an
   answer you don’t want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he’s not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don’t ask him what he’s thinking about unless you are prepared
   to discuss such topics as the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just like
   every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the
    tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t expect us to
    like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and
    your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
18. No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark
    anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from
    point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think
    we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good
    with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Your Mom DOESN’T have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your own oil.
26. Don’t give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
    together.
29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an
    argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
    the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know
    what we’re missing by being with you.
34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want
    it done – not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
    commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like
    you do.

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